Internet spaceships are SERIOUS BUSINESS.

“This game is ruthless…”

– Eve Online troll-beggar

Somewhere space miner cuts up asteriod into his ore hold, staring mindlessly at dancing laser light (except not, but what is fun in breaking stereotypes?). Somewhere tears flow, because space pirate blows up victim that wanted a quick jump in low security system to get skillbook. Somewhere large battle commence in matrix slowdown, as overloaded server node enters controlled lag. Someone is getting scammed via fake contract, someone is getting betrayed, someone is getting killed, someone compete vicously on free market, where almost everything is player-found or player-made. Somewhere troll says wise words for utterly wrong reasons on newbie npc corporate chat during regularly scheduled trollfest.

Welcome to…


Nice beginnings, ends in screaming death.

Rule #1: Don’t fly anything that you can’t afford.

You are capsuleer – quite literal ubermensh that defeated death thanks to technology. You begin career as miner (lowest in food chain, terribly boring but low, steady income) or missioner (doing missions for npc). These ways are easiest and experienced players often scoffs at “carebears” that do these things, but most people eventually join player corporations. Or pirate in low security areas. Or participate in faction wars making bajilion ISKs (currency of game). Or go deep in lawless regions, to join one of more-or-less great aliances. Or explore. Or fight together against npc pirates in raids incursions. There is a lot of things to do, as game is very big and can be a little… hard to learn.

Four biggest npc factions rules over empire space and player can belong to one of them. Additionally many other major and minior npc organizations exists, including cool pirate factions (for some reason Sansha get most love). Of course, many player corporations/aliances/coalitions are also present, ever-changing. Universe of Eve, or rahter its solar systems, are divided by their security status. Here, let me instruct you about basic difference between high security, low security, null security and wormhole space:

And now you know.

In high security space (npc-controlled) unprovoked agression against other players will end up with police (called CONCORD) intervention. Low security space is full of hairy, naked, fat russians just waiting to raep you. Null sec (where players can control systems) alliances are good old Mafia. And wormholes, well. Anything goes.

We will stab, backstab and backstab again for good measure.

If battle was fair, something went horribly wrong.

Eve Online have quite a reputation as universe of cut-throat, merciless competition. Gaming press and portals regularly feature various stories about crazy stunts and horrible things done in Eve that would be hard or impossible to do in most other MMORPGs. Great betrayals and treachery. Corporate espionage and theft of gigantic sums. Money embezzlement. Battles with losses in thousand real life dollars due to simple mistake. This game is ruthless indeed.

Reason is simple: in Eve Online a lot of things are allowed that would get you instabanned somewhere else. This, of course, causes great amount of drama, fear and complete paranoia, including, among other things, real-life tries to sabotage other player internet conenction(!). This cartoon says it all.


Don’t trust anyone, especially your alts (characters from your other accounts).

Every and each one immortal capsuleer is, by lore, design and game incentives, wanna-be omnicidal raving psychopathic mass murderer with God complex already before you even complete basic tutorial. Paranoia is valid tactic, scamming is way of life, and piracy is completely unironically and sincerely considered honest occupation. It goes without saying such game had to be reviewed here.

Go on. Become one of us and get inevitably, hilariously killed.