Is Aya saviour of damned? Or angel of darkness, protecting insane madman? Or just both, or just neither – simply very confused young girl in horrific situation? You can, as usual, start from begining or check last part.
Tricks and traps
We ended up in shrine of unclear function. At north are two doors. Left door is locked and right was used by someone not long ago. Go right. This place is familiar, this is where Maria had first meal in mansion. What cafeteria does next to shrine anyway? I guess necromances and mad sciencists between dark ritutals and frankenstein work need some snack after hours too. Go north, where kitchen supply food for cafeteria.
We have there hanging piece of meat, pot, active stove and crow. Use it before going further. When you step on narrow place in middle leading to kitchen stock, pot suddenly breaks and ghost descents from nowhere, proceeding to choke Aya.
Ah… gah… Ugh…
(I can’t breathe…)
Let… go… Gh… hah!
Yep, quick time event again. Gotta love them.
When ghost lets Aya go, she falls unconscious on floor. You hear some steps and noises, like dragging something somewhere.
Aya slowly regains consciouness. She is back in shrine.
You’ve come to?
Aya alerted stands up.
Sorry I gave you a fright earlier. My apperance must have surprised you.
… That wound on your face… was it from my father?
Don’t worry about that. That’s in the past.
Everyone has it out for father… you hate him too, don’t you?
Because of our hate for your father, we can’t be saved… so I’ve come to save you. Let us get away from here together.
I can’t… I have to save father!
You are still at it?? Even after all that was shown to you? Aya runs up. Boy shouts behind her.
Don’t go! Some of these corpses will try to bring you into death as well! If you stay here, they will take away your life.
But I can’t leave father!
Boy runs after her and takes her hand rather… forcefully, visibly annoyed by her stubborness.
No! I’m going to save him! *struggles* Let go!
Listen to me! She asked me to do this! She asked…
Suddenly shurikens flies offscreen, hitting boy and sending him down. Scared Aya falls on her butt.
Ooookay, nurse ninja maid torture technician. Is there anything that you cannot do, Maria? What about compassion?
Mistress, why will you not escape?
Leave the doctor to me, please. You have my word I will bring him back. So please, mistress, you must flee somewhere safe.
Maria walks away, stepping on body on way.
Maria! Let me go with you…!
If anything happened to you, mistress, the doctor would mourn… and what lies ahead, well…
I know it must be difficult. I shall go ahead alone.
Some strange noise can be heard.
Hoho… it would seem that she’s coming to meet me. Milady… you shall not do as you please. I shall settle this…
Maria exits scene, leaving shocked Aya behind.
Only food present in cafeteria is hanging piece of meat in left corner of kitchen. Use chainsaw to cut off and take Raw Ham. Giving him this will fail, as ghost will complain that he do not want it raw. Can he really afford to be so capricious? Apparenty he can, as we obediently go back to kitchen and fry ham on open flame at right corner of room. Note: despite ham being white item in inventory, you have to use stove, not item. Take plate with fried ham and give it to ghost.
Um, do you want this?
…ahh, smells just like my favourite fried ham!
Mmm… so good…! Tastes just like mom…
I damn hope you did not meant it literally. Ghost finished eating.
I ain’t had a bite to eat since I was locked up here. I was starvin’!
Maria always brought food down to the basement… didn’t you have that?
Everyone else was getting food, but me… I was always unwanted… no use and just pissed people off, so I was abandoned.
Aya is clearly crestfallen hearing that.
Have this. As thanks for givin’ me good food. Ehh… well. Um… thanks. I guess.
Ghost vanished. What Aya got? Napkin? And why exactly I would need something like that? For some reason, from this moment Aya will refuse to go back to shrine. Only one way to exit is steel door in kitchen storage.
Enter T-Corridor. After a few steps up Aya will notice something is not right. Check door – they cannot be now opened. Well, we don’t have choice. Go north. What it is in distance…? Oh shit.
It is this ghost again! Run back to door and broke in back to kitchen storage. Yes, yet another quick time event, goddamn it. Return back.
In upper part of corridor, you will meet Ogre. Talk to him.
The passage was a little cluttered, so I cleaned it up a bit.
After this mysterious comment he walks away. Two doors leads to two parts of Trick Room.
Going further, both doors lead to small room.
If you ask him what the hell he is doing here…
Hohoho… I truly appear in unexpected places. So, did you solve the puzzle to open this door?
Not yet, smartass.
So, what is with this Trick Room? You are supposed to make them both identical. Below is list of things to do:
- In small room: move king statute through right door.
- In right room, move statute to same place where is statute in left room. You will hear click.
- In right room, cut off head of statute (with chainsaw) that you just moved. Head will vanish.
- In right room, move suit of armor to left.
- In right room, fix painting.
- In right room, take spear from right brave soldier mannequin and attach it to suit of armor.
- In left room, use Z twice on flower vase to get Boquet. Obviously, you must put it into right vase.
This is how solved trick room should look:
If you lend ear to Orge on your way out, he will warn:
There are many mysteries to come…
More puzzles? Sigh. Enter large door. Private Room looks inconspicuous. Walk to doo- AAH JESUS! Head fell from sky!
This will be room where you can return back if you make any mistake in puzzles to reset it. Enter door. Now what?
Use this book. “My Diary”, oh my. We are another step closer to truth. Whom diary it is anyway? It is same person as that note in Archives about killing bird? Go to next book.
I was born. I slept cuddling up against my mother.”
After reading that, book will teleport up, blocking exit. What you see in this small room are sculptures of woman and baby. You have to push baby closer to mother. Only then book will vanish, allowing you to go further.
I killed an animal for fun. Then I got addicted. There’s always dead cats and birds in my room.
Mother gets mad when she finds them. Whenever mother is out, I hide the corpses in the dresser.”
What a wonderful kid. I think it is by now easy to guess, who he is.
You must push out sculpture of mom and take both dead animals to hide them in dresser. Duh. Note: if you try to get out with dead animal, Aya will speak in tongues.
Mother found out I was killing animals. Mother scolded me.
I stabbed mother with a knife. Mother fell over, all red. It didn’t suit such a pretty face. So I wiped mother’s face. Her dead face was very pretty.”
As we can see, it gets better and better.
I killed mother. I was scared and ran away. Far, far away toward the ocean…
I wanted to forget everything. But I couldn’t forget mother’s pretty dead face.
I killed another.
I eventually got addicted to seeing people’s dead faces.”
There is one person left alive on scene below – terribly frightened little girl, can’t be older than Aya.
One left alive… fix that with chainsaw and exit.
We are finally out of these nightmarish puzzles on stairs to even lower level. Save. It is wonder that mansion does not drown in crow crap.
I can’t move my legs… I have to… save father… fat… her…
She loses consciousness again. Ogre looks at her orderal without surprise.
Ogre comes closer and screen darkens.
In flashback young Aya runs around mother. After a while mom calls her.
Mom, you’re warm…
Close your eyes, Aya.
May you be smiled upon…
Mom, what was that?
A good luck charm.
A what charm?
I charmed you so you’ll always, always be happy from now on.
Mom… you smell nice… the perfume mom always used…
Wait. Something is wrong here.
That girl looks familiar.
Eek… ! YOU smell like mom… why do you smell like mom?
Ghost shows something in her hand.
That’s mom’s perfume! No way… when did you?!
When you lost light after retrieving lighter oil with help of nth clone of Snowball, obviously. Whoa, Aya suddenly jumps out of bed.
Give it back! That’s my mom’s!
Ghost runs away. Now you are in control. That dog is stuffed, in barrels nothing interesting, get out. Second room is inaccessible. Only way left is to south. But save again first.
Straight Room is very dangerous. Just run straight down to item on floor, take it and GTFO up. No, you cannot survive all way down. Rats will dogpile and slow you down, killing you pretty fast. Now you have Door Key to locked room. Enter.
C’mere… don’t be scared…
Rat runs away to one of barrels. Ghost girl pouts.
Guess this scent is no good. Animals seem to hate it.
Aya pounces on her.
Give back mom’s perfume!
Wh… what is it?
Huh? You don’t have it? Where did you put it?
I dunno. Look around?
Girl runs away… again.
What was with her…
In room there are only two interesting things. Shelf that can be moved to left (destroy barrels first), uncovering crack and drawer with photo of dog holding bone. Almost certainly it is same dog, now stuffed, in previous room.
Widen crack with chainsaw and enter small passage. At end you will find mom’s perfume. Take it.
There! Mom’s perfume! Thank godness…
Zombie jumps out! You must run away to Curved Passage. Zombie will beat on door for a while and go away. Use mom’s perfume on yourself aaand we are on way to rat-infested room. Wait, was there message on wall before?
At least rats avoid you now and you can go through Straight Room without problems. In passage, when you pass mannequin, it vomits blood. Eek. There are only two doors, and only door next to mannequin is not locked. Enter Guest Room. Looks more like prison cells, but ah well. In this madhouse there is no difference.
Middle room have crow – save. You have also access to room right from crow. Rest of them are locked, but last room seem to be openable from inside. Prepare mentally for action.
Run away ASAP to fourth room, as vicious and VERY fast monster enters corridor. After few failed tries, it starts wander aimlessly around. But you cannot get out! Interestingly, crow flied to new place, suggesting running away here was proper course of action.
Time to get some more rest in bed, maybe this ugly zombie will go away. What, bed moved by itself, uncovering hole. Enter, obviously.
Hidden passage obviously leads to last room, but have interesting trick – pot that is movable both ways. We will need it. For now, push it right and go down, to fifth room. You cannot exit room and run away to right, you will just get killed.
So you should get out of passage, open door, run back and block passage with pot again, pulling it back. You must do it all as fast as possible – it may take you few tries, as this goddamn girl does not make it easier, behaving like deer in headlights.
You survived? Excellent, but it is only half of job, as monster still can get out and kill you. Go to crow to save (bed will move back to previous place). Another fast, but simple sequence: get out and close door to fifth room (just walk like you want to get into room – Aya will close it by herself). Man, it is very noisy. Finally you can safely continue.
There is one doll and that doll is all dolls
Next room is Outside Laboratory. Only thing of interest are door and chair with sitting doll. Look at it closer.
Try to open big door. Something will throw you back.
Why can’t I go through there?
YOU WON’T PASS
Oh man, it’s that doll. Look at it again.
You must be keeping me from going in.
YOU WON’T PASS
Why are you getting in my way?!
YOU WON’T PASSYOU WON’T PASSYOU WON’T PASSYOU WON’T PASS
YOU WON’T PASSYOU WON’T PASSYOU WON’T PASSYOU WON’T PASS
Monotematic, aren’t we? Suddenly mom’s perfume thief materializes.
Burn it up real good and the spirit inside it will burn real good too. And then bam goes the invisible barrier around that door!
Mischevious girl runs away. Doll asks.
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT BRAT?
Aya comes to decision and take doll off chair. Ugh, I wouldn’t touch this kind of cursed thing with 10 meter pole, let alone taking it in my pocket.
Will girl manage to destroy doll? We all have feeling story is closer and closer to end, but we will part for now. Saga continues in part 6!
The flower bloomed.
The flower, the flower bloomed.
It was terribly afraid of the wind.
Nobody had ever seen it before, and it seemed to bloom.
The flower, the flower bloomed.
The flower, the flower bloomed.
No one had seen it before, and it seemed to bloom.
“There’s no flower. There shouldn’t be a flower.”
Some were convinced it was so.
But they were wrong, and it was there.
No one had ever seen it.
It should be harsh to listen to.
A flower bloomed that should not have.
There it is, yes, there it is.
There it is.
The flower bloomed.
The flower, the flower bloomed.
It was terribly afraid of the wind.
Nobody had ever seen it before, and it bloomed.
Damned soul #1.
Aya stands in large Corpse Room, full of tables and bodies covered in bloodied shrouds. Everyone here are dead, right? Right?
Is it head? If you try to ask, it will scream.
WH-ERE IS BO-DY
Okay, maybe this headless corpse is harmless, but still goddamn creepy. Your task here is to lead body to it’s head. Just wait for it by head and move in way that ensure body will stand next to head. If you get stuck, you can click Z and run past body.
When head is detected…
Head is put on neck… maybe a little askew.
Guy vanishes, leaving your prize for help – gem. Speaking of gems, you should go back to Cultivation Room and take another gem from bottom. Ten from 21, nice going! Go up, this constant buzzing from these vats (or more like tanks) is annoying. Exit Corpse Room by north door.
Select door at right. You will enter Open Room. Move… I am sure there was someone here nearby that shelf! In this room crow and gem are present – search at bottom for three dirty pots in triangle and push down upper pot, uncovering hole with gem. Upper right corner of room is blocked by numerous barrels.
You can also find Ladder at right. Yay! Time to conquer attic!
Return back to passage. Go left – you will go through hidden passage (including ladder) and unlock door to East Hall. This will make easier to navigate later. You know rest of way to attic. Use ladder when standing next to missing section.
This light is gem, of course. Now we have over half of needed amount! Time to play vandal. See this pot in middle? you can push it over edge at bottom, breaking it and revealing…
Aya takes this thing.
Yes, yes yes yes. FUCK YES. Game helpfully pops up instruction to use.
Yeah, C to change into TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE mode. Z to MURDERIZE everything and everyone. Barrels, empty crates, zom… Wait, what was that small print?
(It cannot be used to attack enemies.)
Ah… How nostalgic… I remember father scolding me for playing with this once…
In sepia flashback, Aya waves around mini-chainsaw and fires it up.
Aya! What are you doing swinging that thing around?!
Aya steps back, dropping chainsaw.
Alfred walks around mechanic blade and scolds daughter.
This is no toy! It’s a very dangerous tool! Understood? Never play with anything like this again!
…I’m glad you’re not hurt. It is odd, though… I thought this would be somewhere that was out of your reach… where on earth did you find this, Aya?
…I’m sorry… I’m sorry… father…
Flashback ends. As you figured out, you are supposed to break every breakable thing, starting with attic. Try it. Walk up and click C to go in BARREL MASSACRE mode. Destroy them all. You will notice only normal barrels get destroyed, not stacks, pots or boxes. During rest of walkthrough, you are expected to maniacally destroy every last barrel. I will mention destroying things only if it is important to plot or in case when some container had something inside.
Damned soul #2
Okay, time to return back to Open Room to remove barrels blocking way. Unfortunately on your way, in East Hall on 2nd floor, girl trips over.
Indeed. It drags Aya to right.
N-no…! I’m going to get dragged away…!
You have to smash Z key again as fast as possible. If you succeed, Aya will run away to Entrance Hall. You should not have any other problems on rest of way to Open Room. Inside go to crow first to save… was something resembling hand in hole just now? Clear out barrels in corner, uncovering second exit from room.
This is still Passage, but now right corridor. Go up – you will notice branch with barrels and some old guy. Destroy barrel in middle – it yelds gem.
Ask him what’s up.
Curse that… Doing every… says… And so deceived as to… true nature… …’s… going to create a… She’s even crazier than the doctor! Hmph, well, whatever…. What should I care, I suppose?
His mumbling is so unclear. Is he talking about Mom? Or Maria? Probably not Aya. At least I hope it is not Aya. Anyway, go up.
No other way than left and down. Right side is blocked by drums and sandbags.
Damned soul #3.
In new room you hear cries.
This crying… I heard it in reception room, too. Maybe this room connects to the reception room? Or… maybe she’s always been following right behind me… Yikes…
Big door is firmly shut. Inspect door to small prison with this strange crying girl – you will notice it is locked from inside. Also it have switch.
THAT MAN TOOK AWAY MY EYES!
(Looking for eyes? Maybe…) Um. I have some eyes here…
Well, isn’t that greatest start of conversation ever.
Are these yours?
Girl don’t react.
I don’t think she can hear…
Ah well, we tried. Go down. Hmm, this room looks familiar… storehouse? We were there already in Snowball’s body! Move carefully. Looks like Snowball unexpectedly made horrible mess. That red liquid was wine. Hah. Open door at bottom – another navigational shortcut opened!
Go out to kitchen – you will notice zombie dog went somewhere. Oops, cafateria has now even more blind zombies. Go to Reception Room into fireplace and check hole again.
I’ve heard this crying… this hole goes down to that place underground. ! If this goes down into her room, I could give her these eyeballs.
Now drop bottle with eyes into hole. You hear crash and cries stops. Well, I hope bottle did not hit her head or something. Obviously, you have to go back all the way to hall with prison and knock at door to cell again.
I FOUND MY EYES…
She puts them (better not to think how exactly), opens door, exits cell and looks around.
…and vanishes, leaving gem. Take it and flip switch in cell. This will open big door. Enter.
Damned soul #4.
You are on stairs to second level of basement. This mansion is ludicrously huge, isn’t it? Go down… only to enter same corridor again.
Try to move again… something is wrong. After a few tries, you will see someone next to drums. Ask her if she have personal black hole. Er… sounded better in my head.
Are you keeping me from going ahead?
Well, Aya is on way to become next Sherlock Holmes. Ghost nods.
I need to go through here to save my father.
Genius move, saying that to victim of said father. Smooth.
So please, let me through. What I can do to convince you?
Ghost moves ahead.
She is now tailing Aya. As you still are not allowed to descend stairs, return back to Hall. Inside Aya tries to reason with ghost again.
Why are you following me?
Do you want to go home? Do you want to go out?
I see… come with me. I’ll take you outside. Then let me through there, okay?
Nod again. Aya looks happy. Exit Hall using right door. After going for a while, ghost vanishes. Aya will notice it close to corridor exit.
Huh? She’s gone… did she fall behind…?
Return back to Hall… except you are suddenly somewhere else.
(Huh… this is…)
Person here looks around confused.
(Huh…? I… these are that girl’s clothes… what’s going on?)
It should be obvious, dear Aya. You are this girl, or rather observer in her body. Dear player, you can move now. Upper door is closed, and when you move down…
Alfred revs chainsaw.
Stay still, won’t you?
Woman backs down.
Now, shall we begin?
(W-what’s father doing?!)
Alfred steps forward. Woman steps back.
(Stop, father! It’s me!)
(I can’t speak…!)
Woman moves back and falls on knees, totally helpless.
Father is closer and closer.
Chainsaw screams in blackness. Nothing more.
Aya wakes up on corridor.
You cannot help her. Move down stairs, to another passage.
Damned soul #5.
Damn, dark here. This is large room with three exits. Crow is next to entry that you used, down left. Up left is locked. Down right leads to toliet. One of barrels in this area have gem.
Time to get into toliet! For some reason we have bottomless abyss instead of north wall. In corner lies bucket with water. Why they don’t have sinks? Aya wonders over urinals, probably seeing this first time in life. In porcelain throne itself, something blinks. Key! Try to get it.
Forget it… this is way too gross. Who would even think of doing something so disgusting? Maybe if I had something to grab it…
Damnit girl, there is no time for something like that! Your insane dad is in danger, mansion is full of ghosts and zombies, you took eyeballs in bottle without hesistation… and you have problem with THIS?
Take hint and walk straight to right, to secret passage. It leads to laboratory.
Something inside tank forms large bloody handprints, when you go through room. Ew, I hope glass is strong. Wooden box is destroyable, you find Forceps inside. Oooh, we can use it to get key! Move to shelfs in corner, where Aya makes horrible discovery.
Yuck… these rabbits… they look a lot like Snowball… I don’t wanna look…
Oh dear fuck. Notice that one of rabbits have wounded leg. This is how father “healed” Snowball in flashback? How much Snowballs she went through?!
See another door? Go up.
NEVER FORGIVE!!! NEVER FORGIVE!!!
Go up stairs and use chainsaw on rope. This… goblin?… runs to lab. You hear trashing and crashing. When everything goes silent, you can get gem (currently you should have 16 in total) from broken vat, as expected. Return back to dark passage – guy that so helpfully pointed secret lies dead on floor. Welp.
This key fits to door in upper left part of Passage.
Damned soul #6.
Hey, it is prison from Maria Diary flashback. Someone here in upper right cell pounces on bars. Likely another ghost to deal with.
In bottom right cell, something on bed shines invintingly, but unfortunately drum is in way. Bottom left cell don’t have anything interesting. We cannot open cell with ghost inside, that would be too easy. Last cell left contains crow (save, obviously) and hole in wall. Enter.
! (There’s something there…!)
You have to play stealth game there, avoiding going in dolls’ line of sight. If doll notices you, well, you die. Game have even separate death screen for them! You hear creepy laugh and stabbing sound.
First doll is easy: when it starts going away from you, run to niche in middle. Exit to right when doll returns back. In other words, ensure that doll is always facing away from you. Enter next place, where second doll rotates clockwise around. Simply run behind her to gem, and later again behind her to south. Exit.
Last place is kinda annoying and buggy (doll can in certain cases see through wall). You must run around pillar (also clockwise) that is patrolled by two dolls, later go to right and exit.
You will find yourself in previously inacessible cell. Yay! Take Jail Key from bed. Return back – fortunately you don’t have to play again hide’n’seek with dolls, as now they lie on ground in pieces, very dead.
Use jail key to let go this poor bastard in upper right cell. He will drop gem before running away. Excellent, we can continue now to left. Small passage later, we end up in… shrine? Someone closes door behind as you go up.
Each step echoes in this large room. After helping so much people, can Aya understand their plight? Will her opinion of father change – or will she be still loyal to dad that she loves so much?
This will take a while yet. See you around in part 5!
Cute is justice.
There was never more truly horryfying thing.
Want to enter pedophile paradise? World seen in twisted mirror, where cuteness is measure of power and influence? Things that makes no physical, biological, political, economic or any sense whatsoever?
Look no further. Welcome to mad, mad world. Welcome to Hello Kitty Online.
OwMySanity is being born.
Judging by avaliable avatars during character creation, you are either anime mutant or drug junkie. With this in mind, it became obvious how game starts: after death from overdosing one of vast arsenal of drugs provided by Badtz-Maru, you start journey through personally-taliored Hell full of things that you hate. Including instant gratification AND lack of thereof. How it is even possible?
First circle of that hell is Dream Island (former Pitcairn Island – previous tenants for some reason sold it very cheaply and got out in hurry), where you learn to play and have glimpses of things to come, including
Devil Eternal Dear Leader Hello Kitty herself (already? talk about, yes, instant gratification). When you start real game, everything is taken away from you and you are dumped on Sanrio Harbour to became beach hobo. I’m sure there is some lesson in that.
By the way, nick of my character, OwMySanity, is homage to this webcomic. Other future instances of this nick in other MMOs may be me too. Or not. Who knows?
Embrace the system.
Gameplay reality of HKO reflects Hell fairly accurately. You can’t die (sounds kinda familiar…) – as everyone else here, including monsters. You just put them to sleep, like your favourite hamster when you were kid, with that difference hamster did not came back. Jobs taken by you are in majority annoying errands. Making needed things on your own is often included. Crafting system shows some promise, unfortunately destroyed by other failings of this MMO.
Economy is capitalism with circulating money and standard services. It is pretty ruthless – NPCs met in game almost always will give you tasks involving their business before you can start with something resembling care for relatives or other values that don’t involve money. Remember, friendship is just number to met. As cherry on the top serve regular nagging from game to buy items from virtual shop, leading to blank page.
Prostrate before Queen!
Manager of this warped, illogical reality is titular Hello Kitty, ruling with iron fist, painted in pink hearts. Apparently she have some secret special project. One can only shudder in fear imagining what unbelievable evil she is planning.
Last we heard of First Übercat, she was personally dealing with massive case of civil unrest in New York. It is only question of time when she will command troops to shoot civilians.
Hello Kitty Online is worst grinding hell ever, punctuated by screams of despair and terribly unbalanced play. Running in circles bashing same group of mobs over and over… or alternatively making them happy over and over with your, uhhh, “sparkler”… or gathering weed over and over in hope of 10% chance drop… following repetive, linear and boring storyline… who the hell could thought it would be fun?
I will not even mention plethora of smaller issues, like requirement to launch HKO with administrative privileges or notorically unreliable logging.
Even nudist fights cannot make up for it all.
Screw that, I’m going home. And I won’t be looking back at this piece of steaming bovine matter byproduct.